Dear Farah Elina, 

How did you went from being strong positive person to a sobby person right now in the matter of hours? To the tomorrow farah elina, maybe you should take it a tab bit slow with the drinking. We are currently 2 glass in. How did we get so fucking light weight? Oh ya, we kinda stopped for a while. 

I know exactly what you're doing. You're afraid of your own feelings. It's okay to be weak. It's alright. LEt me (28 yo farah) hold you (16 year old farah). I know you just want warmth. 

JAngan engkau nangis (joes playing this song lol)

28 year old farah, you really gotta work on your self esteem. You are constantly self-sabotaging, just because you think you're not good enough. You abandon yourself and everything you worked for, because you think you're not worthy of it. You run before everyone leaves. Because in your mind, thats what everyone does. I see you scared and it's alright. ITs all alright and okay.......... You will be okay. 

REminding you of your previous post. Stay strong. Your loved one needs you most right now. BE strong. Stand tall. Chin up. 

I hope you see this pattern and work on it with your therapist. Time for change, sayang. 

Be sad, cry, hold yourself. Get the fuckkkk up. You have one hour. That's all we're allowed. And then we move forward. Alright? 

REmember to be the change you want in this world. IT doesn't have to be all broken and damanged.

Be the light. I know you will. He needs you now. More than ever. 

Listen, the world is not out here to get you. In fact, the universe is neutral. It's here co-existing with you. Observing you. Watching. Every single spec of thing , down to the cells, is running it's own course, fulfilling its purpose. What is yours, farah? The universe it neither wishing harm on you or rooting for you. Here's a perspective for you, take charge. RUN YOUR FUCKING COURSE, BITCH. 

And then watch. Watch how the flowers bloom for you. Even then the rain pours, it waters and give live. Letting you know, the world as what you make it to be.

Remember that. Always.